The Dark Side of Flow

25.09.25

My earliest memories of experiencing the flow state date back to when I was about 8 years old. As a family, we used to attend a Baptist church every Sunday morning. I remember being mesmerized by the music, specifically the lower frequencies.

I felt the vibrations so strongly in my body that at times it felt as if I were levitating. I remember asking my mother what that was, but since she knew nothing about musical instruments, I only learned what a bass was years later.

These early experiences had a profound impact on me and instilled the desire to pursue music later in life. But a lot happened before I started studying music. These experiences were stored in the background of my mind, mainly due to a sense of isolation and depression.

At the time, I found comfort in food and video games. I probably spent at least 6 hrs per day playing and constantly snacking, so I guess it’s no surprise I used to pack an extra 25 kgs. The reason I bring this up is that Flow has a dark side.

Now is a good time to explain that Flow is a modern term for what William James called religious experiences, Carl Jung called numinous experiences, and Abraham Maslow called peak experiences.

Different names for the same phenomenon.

Simply put, Jung explains that numinous experiences arise directly from the unconscious, rapturing the individual, who is always its victim rather than its creator. These experiences have a compulsive nature and cause a peculiar alteration in consciousness.

The problem is that the unconscious is immoral, which means we can experience Flow with beautiful things like arts, music, and creative endeavors, or be held hostage by our addictions. That’s why overcoming them requires such a deep understanding.

Carl Jung explains that the psyche has a religious function, which means that whether you’re conscious or not, everyone has a governing principle in their lives. In psychological terms, “god” is this organizing idea that shapes someone’s fate.

This “god” can, of course be tied to religion, but when someone lacks meaning it’s usually because their “god” took the perverted form of an addiction such as workaholism and the greed for money, food, sex, substances, gambling, shopping… or the video games that took a great chunk of my life.

That’s why overcoming an addiction involves finding a deeper sense of meaning and altering the governing principle of your life. Something the Puer Aeternus often struggle with.

Here’s how one can do that.

How To Produce Your Own Drugs

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the godfather of Flow, discovered that the people who had high scores in overall well-being and life satisfaction were also the ones who experienced the most flow.

But there’s a caveat: we’re not referring to passive forms of flow like drinking or eating, but active forms that require skill building like running, lifting weights, public speaking, programming, or creative endeavors.

That’s why, if you’re subject to an addiction, the first step that must happen is to look for active forms of flow, as passive forms of flow are not only inferior in their quality, but as we’ve seen, frequently lead to addictions.

What helped me the most when beating my compulsion for food was joining the gym and starting to experience Flow through intense physical exercise.

First, I experienced a deep psychological shift and finally started liking myself. I felt strong, built discipline, dropped 25kg, and learned that I could have objectives and achieve them.

But secondly, experiencing Flow floods your system with feel-good chemicals, and you can essentially produce your own “drugs”:

• Dopamine can be compared to cocaine and amphetamines. It gives intense energy, focus, excitement, motivation, and enhances pattern recognition in the brain.
  
• Norepinephrine can be compared to Adderall and stimulants. It improves alertness, reaction speed, and a heightened sense of awareness.
  
• Anandamide is called the bliss molecule, and it binds to the same receptors as THC. It reduces fear, produces calmness, and enhances creativity.
  
• Endorphins are natural opioids, much more potent than morphine. It creates feelings of euphoria and the blissful quality of Flow.
  
• Serotonin is compared to MDMA. This chemical is produced post-flow and gives you a sense of contentment and a deep satisfaction.

Can you imagine producing all of this stack at will without the aid of any substances and any of the downsides?

I know it sounds crazy, but it’s all real.

Moreover, you feel more capable, and you’re not subject to cheap pleasures anymore, as this is all earned. You can change the self-defeating narratives and regain control.

The Need For Mastery

The second great shift that must happen to find meaning is to use the skills you develop during Flow to be in the service of something greater than yourself.

That’s how you can experience purpose, but to do so, you must not only transcend narcissistic desires but also exercise your moral capacities.

Here’s what I mean: a lot of people continue to engage in self-destructing and morally questionable pursuits because they’re good at it.

This reminds me of Walter White from Breaking Bad. At the end of the show, he confesses to his wife Skyler, why he persisted and put everyone in danger, and he says, “I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And I was really… I was alive.”

The need for mastery is ingrained in our psyches, but our conscious mind must direct the process; otherwise, well… we might apply our skills to become crime lords and produce blue meth.

This also reminds me of an old friend. He was a phenomenal salesman, but he was a Puer Aeternus and would only use his abilities to trick people into getting into multi-level marketing schemes. It was a shame because he was also deluded. A few years later, we reconnected, and I was happy to know he was finally working on something worthy.

In summary, to overcome an addiction, we can start by pursuing active forms of Flow through developing a craft, intense physical activity, or creativity… You name it. Then, to find purpose, we must put our skills in the service of the greater good.

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fael Krüger – Live an Audacious Life

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