How To Beat Perfectionism With The Flow State

10.09.25

For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with high levels of perfectionism.

These unreasonable standards often made me retreat in fear, procrastinate, abandon several projects in the middle, and evoke a deep sense of inadequacy.

I couldn’t bear the notion of allowing other people to see my creations and be in the spotlight, as there was a loud, nagging voice inside my head constantly berating me.

Freezing and drowning in shame was my only response.

But somehow, things gradually shifted in the past 3 years, and I finally tamed the devil of perfectionism.

I started consistently releasing articles, recording videos, and even launched a book.

Now, I want to explore a few keys that helped along the way, the most important being the Flow State, a powerful shadow integration tool.

Origins of Perfectionism

The first thing we have to understand about perfectionism is that it’s often a compensation for feelings of shame and inferiority. This creates an external sense of self-worth, something people identified with the Puer Aeternus often experience.

In other words, we become enslaved to winning other people’s validations and over-identify with our creations.

We start conflating love with validation, and in that sense, perfectionism becomes a strategy to earn “love”, be seen, and not be abandoned.

This incessant chase for validation puts people in a narcissistic headspace as everything becomes about you, your image, and what you can get from others.

Unconsciously, the perfectionist doesn’t want to be a mere mortal, he doesn’t want to be relatable, and that’s why he feels deeply lonely.

When it comes to his creations, the perfectionist prefers to let them exist only in their imaginary realm instead of truly bringing them to life.

But as Marie Von Franz says, the creative act involves sacrificing part of our childish idealizations so we can have something real.

In other words, to truly create, we must become more human, step away from our narcissism, and embrace our shadows, as the constant editing brings forth lifeless and mediocre art.

As time passes, perfectionism becomes a comfortable prison and a cop out for not taking risks, not getting involved with anything, and not truly committing to developing your craft.

I’ll already have an article detailing the origins and dynamics of perfectionism, so now I’ll focus on 3 practical keys to overcoming it.

Change Your Values

To conquer perfectionism, we must first of all disrupt the need for external approval, as playing by other people’s standards poisons our worldview and creations.

Instead of constantly chasing validation and aspiring to keep an immaculate persona, we must change our values and learn to do things simply because we enjoy and value them. We must learn to have fun.

In Jungian terms, this often involves working with the inferior function to allow the animus and anima to be expressed.

But it’s crucial to understand that we can’t solve these problems intellectually, we need deeply embodied experiences.

That’s where the Flow State enters, as it’s the most powerful tool to unlock intrinsic motivation. When we’re fully immersed in a deeply enjoyable activity, being able to play, create, and express ourselves is its own reward.

Moreover, flow literally changes how our brain works, and due to the transient hypofrontality, it completely shuts down the inner critic.

We’re finally free from chasing validation and start living by our own standards.

Now, to break the self-involvement part, we must learn to develop love and respect for our crafts and put them in the service of others. By understanding that a sense of purpose lies outside, we can finally get out of our own way.

Remember: “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly” – G. K. Chesterton.

Struggle Is Your Friend

Every perfectionist expects to be immaculate on everything on their first try. If they’re not immediately good at it, they think they don’t have any talent and it’s not for them.

But this perspective is completely against the Flow State, and a cop out for not doing the hard work.

Stop the Puer inside of you!

Now, the Flow State is comprised of 4 stages: Struggle – Release – Flow – Recovery.

In other words, an initial struggle is always expected. It’s a sign you’re learning new skills, and if you push a little bit, it becomes automated, and flow is right around the corner.

To achieve it, it’s important to stop labeling everything and keep a beginner’s mindset. Give you the chance to play, make mistakes, and experiment.

Also, you must lower the barrier for success and have simple goals.

Instead of expecting to run 20 miles in your first week, focus on simply putting on your sneakers and getting out of the house at a given time. What comes after it is a bonus.

You’ll see how this simple mental shift makes everything easier, and you’ll naturally start to accomplish more.

Lateralization

Lastly, I believe the easiest way to start experimenting with the Flow State is through lateralization.

Here’s what I mean.

The activities we want to perform our best usually involve a lot of expectations, wounds, and external demands.

That’s why I find it best to start with something unrelated to our professions and as free as possible of expectations.

Think about something you can do just for fun, preferably something that involves the body or manual skills.

Commit to developing yourself, and once you start experiencing flow, you’ll notice how easier it becomes to experience more flow in all other areas, as these skills are all transferable.

• Read Next – How The Flow State Helps You Overcome Addictions

Rafael Krüger – Live an Audacious Life

Whenever you’re ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

Mentorship – Catalyze your personal transformation with 1 on 1 sessions. Master your psychology, relationships, and business.

Audacity University – Master Jungian Psychology in 1 year: Become your own analyst or integrate these tools into your professional practice.

Katabasis – The Shadow Integration Manual – My best-selling and accessible course will teach you how to disrupt the unconscious patterns keeping you stuck and integrate the shadow.