The Hidden Fear of Money

01.10.25

Recently, I hit an important milestone in my business, but instead of feeling euphoric, when I opened my dashboard, I noticed this weird anxiety creeping in.

I closed my eyes as in a process of Active Imagination, and this feeling became the image of a character being attacked by several whips that latched onto his body, making him stuck.

Then I heard a voice: “Nothing is free, soon you’ll have to pay your dues”.

I know this sounds weird, but I quickly understood what crazy complex was constellated. The good thing is that when something becomes conscious, it loses its overwhelming grip, and we can finally work with it.

Complexes produce narratives in our minds that unconsciously drive our behaviors and decisions. One thing I learned about receiving money, gifts, or favors is that they always have strings attached.

In other words, once you receive something, you’re indebted to this person and have to fulfill ALL of their expectations.

But these aren’t “normal expectations”, no… You must forget about your needs and boundaries and give all of your time.

If you’re less than perfect, you risk losing everything.

I know this sounds dramatic, but that’s how complexes tend to present themselves, especially when they’re also attached to skewed religious views.

Everyone knows the classic bible verse, “The love for money is the root of all evil”.

This belief makes many people pretend money doesn’t exist, they’re afraid to check their bank accounts and even feel dirty charging for their services.

Of course, this is bad theology, the problem is greed and loving money above everything else, as money in itself is neutral and a tool.

But this is just the tip of the iceberg, and since I’m not a priest, I want to explore the deeper psychological effects of the savior complex on our financial lives.

How The Savior Complex Keeps You Poor

When you have an unconscious savior complex, you tend to attach your self-worth to always being the helper and being useful. You conflate receiving love with being needed.

The problem is that since you never fulfill your dreams, develop your talents, and create a life you’re proud of, you expect all this sense of accomplishment to come from other people.

This makes you create transactional relationships because you help people constantly expecting something in return. Unconsciously, you want them to feel indebted to you and repay in the form of “love” and validation.

Moreover, for this dynamic to work, the savior tends to gravitate toward broken people or narcissists who will need them the most.

This attitude bleeds into their financial lives, as they tend to spend all of their money on other people, frequently undercharge for their products and services, and even work for free.

This reminds me of when I was starting as a therapist. This client didn’t have the money to pay me at the end of the month, so I proposed to dilute the amount over the next 2 months.

The result?

I worked 2 months for free, and the guy vanished.

When you have this unresolved savior complex, you’ll frequently put yourself in these situations and feel victimized by the world.

But you have to look within and understand how you’re contributing to it to finally break this curse.

So how can we solve this?

The Savior’s Shadow

First and foremost, you have to be honest with yourself and realize that your favors aren’t free. One thing saviors fear the most is being perceived as selfish, but if you pay attention, you’ll notice that their attitude is mostly self-serving.

That’s why you have to start fulfilling your own needs and developing your own identity to stop projecting them on others.

Instead of expecting all of this validation to come from the outside, you must create a life you’re proud of and give yourself permission to enjoy nice things and experiences.

Because if you’re fully honest, you’ll notice there’s an ugly shadow part that feels jealous of the people who are more successful, thinks life isn’t fair, and even find hidden greed.

This is there because you never consciously express it, and you’re constantly victimizing yourself and playing small.

By giving life to these repressed desires (within reason, of course), you’ll also free others from your expectations, and finally solve your need to be liked.

When you relate to others as an adult, you also understand they’re responsible for their own lives, and you shouldn’t interfere in their autonomy.

Moreover, when you don’t charge a fair price for your services, you’re also keeping them immature and losing their respect.

You must value yourself first, place the right boundaries, and set the tone of the relationship. Because if you don’t take yourself seriously, nobody else will. And if you don’t respect your craft, no one will value you.

You also need clarity about your responsibilities to solve the problem of money having strings attached. Especially as a therapist, these boundaries must be clear, as you’re not there to be liked or save anyone.

If you’re unsure, talk to other professionals to understand what’s reasonable or not in your field of work, because true help must come from a place of high self-esteem and detachment, instead of subliminally trying to fulfill your own agenda.

Read Next – Demystifying Shadow Work Series

Rafael Krüger – Live an Audacious Life

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